Often, we are questioned about the right way to handle or manage the conflicts that arise in the companies we go through. They are the most diverse and have the potential to build or destroy any kind of initiative.

The basic definition of what a conflict is translates as “deep disagreement between two or more parties.”For us, this definition prevents the understanding that conflicts can be beneficial in teams that have decided to use collective construction as a decision tool. In these cases, they become part of the daily life of the team.

Therefore, we will assume that there are no harmful conflicts, when the parties aim to win or prove something for their own benefit.And there are the constructive ones, when the goal is to achieve more critical and comprehensive decision making.

Whatever the type of conflict, we believe that the difference between a good deal of conflict management is related to establishing a conscious strategy that is comprehensive enough to deal with people, their needs and differences; and with the inputs presented, in this case, the ideas, options and alternatives that are the object of the discussion.

An Irish saying provokes us by questioning, “Why do we judge others by their behavior and ourselves by our good intentions?”

This question makes us realize that the starting point for solving or managing any conflict is the genuine understanding that we are different in essence and that these differences should not be – ever – part of the discussion. At the same time, it is necessary to be clear that these same differences directly influence how we experience all conflicting situations.

Therefore, the answer to be given on how to improve the management or management of conflicts – harmful or constructive – in companies must be answered in three steps.The strategic, the instrumental and the individual, as we will see next:

Whatever the type of conflict, we believe that the difference of a good deal is related to the establishment of a conscious strategy

Strategic – a different culture

It is necessary to cultivate in the companies a culture that understands the difference like power and not like weakness.Without this foundation or background, no practical instrument or behavior can be successful or sustainable.The difference between people should never be the focus, but it must be cared for and preserved as intangible capital of the highest value in organizations.

Instrumental – a way to resolve conflicts

There is no need to talk about a technique. They are innumerable, whether in dealing with harmful conflicts or in conducting the constructive ones, it is necessary to know formats of dealing with them.From nonviolent communication, the principles of mediation, the outsourcing of conciliation or even the instruments of consensus and collective constructions, all are available to the hills to give people the possibility of establishing an assertive and empathic dialogue in any situation where there is a need for conflict management.

Individual – the posture that makes the difference

If your posture is not compatible with the values set by the group you are entering, it will be natural for conflicts to arise.Your posture will be different when you seek self-knowledge enough not to get carried away by the automatic, at least most of the time.In addition, the empathetic attitude towards the other which also has intentions beyond the visible behaviors is fundamental to allow the conflict to be resolved or have the intended results.

As you can see, this is not a simple journey. Still, it does not have to be so threatening.Conflicts are essential for making innovative and creative decisions and even more so to give us visibility of the beauty that exists in the difference between us. Conflict management is a journey that can be pursued with empathy, compassion and conscience, just want.

Source: Anderson Siqueira – www.conense.com.br